I've tried so much to be 'bulletproof' and only to realise that words can simply bring you down and my 'bulletproof' can't withstand words.

In my entire life, from young till now, most of my friends are guys. I seldom have girls friends, maybe because I'm rough and don't behave like a girl? Or simply because I'm just plain too detestable. So ppl will eventually label me as a flirt, who only know how to flirt with guys. So they hate me, but I don't get it. They hate me because of what? I'm not prettier than them neither am I smarter than them. Their studies and looks win me in everything.. Yea, maybe I just sucks so much that everyone seems to hate Me so much? It's my fault for not have enough girls friend to make me seems like a flirt? It's not like I like it to have more guys friend. To be honest, they don't even know how much I feels to always be mistaken by ppl. Since young I'm being brought up by my mother, she taught me to be independent. So I'm more independent compare to other girls, I'm more tough and I never cry easily. This is me. Maybe too much life experience cause me to be like this too... So eventually, ppl thinks that the stronger one is always the one bullying ppl. So me being the stronger one, no matter what I do, ppl just think it's my fault or is I bully ppl. So just No matter what I do, ppl just won't believe me. So the stronger one always tend to lose out. This is my life. But I nvr blame on my life, I just hope that when I grow up life can treat me better. I'm getting too tired, that's why I'm so affected by some little things that ppl said to me. This is so not me... Guess too much things is happening, I don't know how long more can I still hold on to my smile before a major breakdown occurs... Tonight, just leave me alone...

Xoxo, Arena.L

Labels: Hates